TRAUMA IS NOT YOUR FAULT BUT HEALING IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
You can’t force people to see yourself worth. That kind of validation should come from within. When you can see clearly your own self worth, you start to walk away from anything that is anything less than worthy of your time, your energy and your attention. And that’s true self care and self love.
It’s important to realise that no matter how good you are to people, it won’t make them good to you And it's the expectations we set that are the things that will hurt us the most.
The job at hand is not to take it personally when someone hurts you even though that can be hard at times. Understanding your triggers and that they are gateways to healing is the same as other people’s triggers are windows into their past experiences rather than personal attacks.
Most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is, life just is and nothing becomes something until you react to it. By changing the way you see things, you’ll begin looking for the good in all situations. Take the lesson and find new opportunities to grow. Let all the extra thinking and worrying be just thoughts passing by. Because when things change inside of you, they change around you.
Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. Trauma is not something you would have asked for and maybe it’s something you didn’t deserve. It won’t be fair and you may of been collateral damage in someone else’s war path but healing in any of those circumstances lies with you.If you start treating an unfair circumstance as someone else's responsibility to fix you, it will lead to an un-lived life. Because unprocessed pain gets transferred to everyone around you.
What you give your attention to is important. Because attention is your most precious resource. We all have the same 24 hours in a day but it’s how you budget your time throughout the day that dictates where your energy goes towards. Every decision you make in your life is a choice. Choosing to stay in a situation that makes you unhappy is a choice. I’m not saying it’s easy to give up or walk away in certain situations but there is an element of getting real with yourself and talking down the ego in your head to come to terms with the fact that what’s in your life this present moment and what is happening to you right now is what you have allowed.l
Walking away is hard. But loss is a brilliant teacher in that way.
Stop explaining yourself and telling people everything. You owe no one any explanation of what you do and how you do it. Your life is yours and only yours. Not anyone else’s.
WORDS: Monique Medved