THE HAPPIEST HUMANS EMBRACE FAILURE.
Ahh failure. That ugly ass word that scares the living shit out of everyone. Because no one wants to be seen or looked at as a failure right?
The biggest lesson I learnt when it came to failing was my 7 and a half year relationship ending at the same time I sold my business I grew from the ground up. And at the time, I thought wow - I can’t do anything right. I’ve just wasted all these years of my life and for what? I have nothing to show for it except anxiety, depression and a sad broken little girl. Sick.
What I didn’t know or more so, didn't see at the time. Was that it was only part of the picture. Those big failures in my life set me up for future successes. It was a gift really. And so today I want to share with you what those failures actually taught me and how they made me resilient and well, happy.
The way in which I see the world now - my friends will often say its all peachy and sunshine and rainbows. And it’s true but it’s not. And what I mean by that is, I have shit days - we all do. It’s inevitable but it’s actually what you do with those shit days. You can spend the whole 24 hours repeating the same narrative in your head of ‘this is shit’ or you can try to see the flip side of a crappy situation. So for me, I simply CHOOSE to see the good in a bad situation. I choose to see the lessons in failure, I choose to see the possibility for growth that comes from those situations. And guess what, it’s why I’m happy even when times are rough or crappy i.e during this pandemic.
Failure means you put yourself out there. You were brave enough to try, to take a chance on yourself, to test your own limitations.
You might have failed this time around, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to fail the next time. You need to keep going. You need to maintain your streak of fearlessness. You cannot entertain the possibility of quitting when you want something so badly. And where there is a will, there is a way - so if you’re willing to go the nine years then there will always a be way. One or two or ten no's should never stop you from chasing after your dreams. Remember, no one is successful on their first try. It takes hard work, time, and effort to reach your destination.
Failure means you’re learning. It means you’re inching one step closer to success.
Baby steps are worth taking. Remember that. You don’t to take these big ginormous leaps. It’s much like setting big unrealistic goals - you’re setting yourself up to fall or trip before you’ve even started. Baby steps are guiding you closer and closer to your dreams. You aren’t going to reach success overnight, so quit comparing someone else’s success story when it’s been a story that’s been 10+ years in the making. You have to remain patient. You have to continue putting energy into your goals and your dreams, even when it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere, even when it feels like you are fighting a losing battle. Just because you cannot see an endpoint doesn’t mean it’s not within your reach. I always think back to when I first started my Youtube channel and thinking, man I can’t wait till I hit 100 subscribers and I can’t wait till I upload 30 videos. And now I’m at that place I’d wished for back in Janurary. Now imagine if I didn’t take the first step in setting up a camera and just sitting down and talking? I wouldn’t be at 300 subscribers and almost 40 videos.
Failure means you’re rising above your doubts and insecurities. It means you are bigger than your own fears.
It doesn’t matter how talented you are or how many years of experience you have under your belt. No matter what, there are going to be times when you question whether you have what it takes. There are going to be moments when your doubts overwhelm you. But you can’t give up on yourself. You can’t allow your demons to win. You need to push past your fears, push past your insecurities, push past your critics. History doesn’t have to repeat itself. So stop telling yourself that it will. There’s true power in learning to let go of the past and the hold it has on you - because you can’t change it and you can’t relive it and once you realise this it will set you free.
Failure means you accept you are imperfect and are willing to learn, to grow and to thrive.
You shouldn’t feel like your failures were wastes of time because you learned something along the journey. And regrets are just useless to you anyway. Maybe those lessons didn’t help you succeed this time around, but they could be the key the next time. Whenever you put yourself out there, you are becoming stronger, more resilient and more experienced. You are constantly growing because you’re putting yourself out into a discomfort zone you’re not used to. It’s new territory that you should be curious about because that territory will come with new and valuable lessons that you’ll be able to take with you and apply to different parts of your life. You are constantly evolving and that is what I think the true purpose of life is - to evolve and become a better version of yourself every single day. You should trust that you are headed in the right direction. If you want to see success, you just have to keep going.
Failure means you’re willing to put effort into the things that mean the most to you. It means you’re not going to let anything get in the way of your goals.
Although you’re allowed to be upset about your failures, really, they aren’t a reason to cry. They’re a reason to celebrate. They mean you’re actively trying to make something of yourself, to better yourself, to create a fulfilling life for yourself. They mean you’re strong enough to put effort into what means the most to you, even if there’s a chance it won’t work out the way you planned.
And that comes with true power as well. When you set out to do something and people see you doing it unapologetically you actually start to open the gateway for someone else to do the same for themselves. I experience it all the time, when I see someone doing something I know I probably could do to and they’re just doing them. No ifs no buts. Whether they succeed or they don’t they’re enjoying the process and the journey and I really respect that in a person. It’s why I do this podcast and why I do Youtube videos weekly - they are constantly teaching me something about myself I never knew. And through it all - I've really started to come into my own. And 2 years ago had you said to me, you'll have a podcast, you’ll have a youtube channel that has weekly uploads, you’ll quit your corporate job, you’ll never work a corporate job again and you’ll have sold everything you owned because you plan on moving to Thailand. I would of said - you’re on crack.
But it took all those failures along the road to sift out what I actually wanted in life. I honestly believe you need to go through the shit times and keep going through them to come out the other side better than when you first entered.
I don’t regret anything in my life. And I mean that with complete sincerity. All the decisions and choices, success and failures I’ve made or had up until this point, have gotten me to a place where I feel at complete peace with who I am, what I’m doing and where I’m heading.
So if I can leave you today with just one thing, it’s this: embrace the failures - they are just another piece of your puzzle. A puzzle you might be able to see in its entirety but piece by piece it will come together.