YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS
Getting real with yourself is hard. But why is admitting to yourself that you’re unhappy so difficult? Sometimes we don’t feel worthy of happiness, sometimes we believe we don’t deserve to be happy and sometimes we feel it’s someone else’s obligation to make us happy. That’s all bullshit. Because the reality and hard hitting truth is, it’s YOUR responsibility to choose and prioritise your happiness over everyone else’s
More often than not we choose to settle for what we think is right, acceptable and safe. We sometimes feel so controlled by this idea that staying where we are in our comfort zone will keep us from any dangers facing the unknown will bring to us. Don’t get me wrong, it can feel scary facing a new environment, with new people and things and places that we’re not used to. But overcoming that fear of the new and unknown is what helps us to grow.
We’re terrified by the idea of moving on because moving on and letting go is something we’re not taught how to do. So we begin to sacrifice our own being, our own happiness and instead choose to compromise all these things to stay in the same place when really we should be moving on and moving forward.
So here’s a solid piece of advice, if you’re unhappy, MOVE. Because if you don’t move you’re going no where.
If you’re unhappy with your job, quit. Easier said than done? Then start asking do a check in with yourself. If you feel like, you’re no longer growing, no longer learning, if you’re no longer productive and find yourself only clocking in and out every single day – then start move - out the door. If you’re constantly stressing over the fact that it drains you on a mental, physical and emotional level then move. If the only reason you’re sticking with that job is because it pays the bills and there’s a slight (in ten years) chance be “promoted” whereby you’ll finally be able to call yourself “successful” and “happier” – then don’t just walk towards the door, start running.
Happiness doesn’t depend on that kind of success. Your success actually depends on your happiness. If you think there are new opportunities, new places, new things you can explore and will contribute to your soul and to your individual growth, then start heading there. If it’s worth your time thinking, then it’s worth trying. You’re never too old to try. Whether it ends good or bad, it’s still an experience and an experience will always teach you a lesson. And lessons are what enable us to grow.
If you’re unhappy with the people you surround yourself with, then say goodbye. You are a product of the environment you surround yourself with. So if the environment you’re finding yourself sounded by no longer influences you in a positive way, then walk away. This doesn’t mean you need to cut them off or out of your life completely. You’re not forgetting about them forever, it just means you’re finally choosing to move forward, which sometimes means people get left behind. The time you had with them was great, there were learnings and encouragements but when they are no longer adding that kind of value to your life and all they do is drag you back down to their level into settling for comfortable then maybe it’s time to say thank you and see you again. Recognizing that you need to keep moving with your life without them in the picture is okay.
If you’re unhappy with your love life, call it. There are a lot of people on this Earth and they are waiting in a lot of places you haven’t been to yet. Romantic relationships are more than forehead kisses, dinner dates, tight hugs and cute messages – romantic relationships are connections you have, that are supposed to mature with you. Romantic relationships are supposed to let you flourish and develop in every aspect of who you are. It is supposed to hearten you every morning and not weigh you down with doubts and resentments. If your partner becomes a constant cause of heartache and toxicity, then cut them off. You are not obliged to burden yourself with causes like this if they serve no purpose in your growth. They are supposed to be at the top of the list of people who will push you to be at your best and allow you to discover just how great you already are but also how far you can go. Remember that.
If you’re unhappy with your city, pack your bags. Don’t get stranded with comfort zones and safety nets. Familiarity is good but too much familiarity is not that good. A little risk and uncertainty can go a long way. If you’re only staying because you feel it’s secured and because you’re already living there for a long while now that it is “home” or that it is “convenient” – well, you might want to re-think your decisions. Being comfortable can be a whole lot scarier than taking risks. You stopped conquering magnificent things when you start getting comfortable. Remember, great things come outside of our comfort zone. So pack your things, leave your city and move to another one if you need to. Go out on an adventure to nowhere. Start anew. Search for a place you might like to visit, a place you might like to stay. Now is the time. Home is where your happiness is, not where it’s guarded.
If you’re unhappy with your life path, start going left instead of always right. Whether it is the course you’re studying or your career path – whatever path it is that you’re taking right now, if it reeks strong discontentment, then it’s the perfect time to take a pause and redirect yourself. If you’re taking a course you don’t like, change it. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to waste years, effort and money on something you never even love in the first place. All it will teach you is how to settle. At the end of the day, if it doesn’t excite you and only exhausts you then it’s time to reconsider. So it doesn’t really matter if you’re graduating next year, you better decide before you find yourself trapped in an office chair with loads of shitty work you don’t even understand and doesn’t enrich your passion. If you’re investing years of your precious time and expertise in a career path you’re not even appeased with, shift. If you don’t see yourself on the same path in the years to come, then what the hell is the point? There is no right time to shift and leave, you do it when you feel like it. That’s the beauty of being in control of your life. You do it when you’re unhappy. You do it now. Take on a new path, embrace the unknown. Whatever path it is you’re in right now, if you’re unhappy, take a turn. Whether it is left or right, as long as you’re happy, you will not lose yourself. You’ll only find yourself even more.
If you’re unhappy with how you see life, start opening your eyes. See life from a different view, a different perspective. Re-acquaint yourself with life. Worrying or over-thinking things that haven’t even happened yet means you only go through things twice. And realistically they don’t change how life is. Like they say, don’t stress over the things you can’t change. The only thing you can do is fix your eyes on a different light and see it from a different view point. Stop viewing it for all its troubles. Life is beautiful.
If you’re unhappy with where you are right now, just move. It’s as simple as that, we over complicate everything because we’re afraid of putting ourselves first for once. We spend so much of our time and energy scrutinizing everything, when the only thing we should really be thinking about is our own happiness.
Thus, instead of dreading and over-examining every decision you need to make in your life, trust yourself. Sometimes, taking risks is a good thing. You don’t always have to weigh the pros and cons of things, sometimes there is only one thing that really, truly matters and that is; a heart and a soul that is filled with choices and decisions you have made by putting your happiness first. You don’t have to be sure of where you’re going or what the next step is; sometimes all you have to do is take the first step and that is to MOVE.